Field of Dreams
by perfectromanceinmymind
Summary: A brief 'it could have happened' moment between April & Jackson turns into something more. Begins after episode 8-7 "Put Me In Coach." A semi-AU story running parallel to Season 8 in which they contemplate couplehood.
1. Chapter 1

April couldn't stop giggling.

She was pretty sure that at some point it might cause Bailey to finally flip out and kill her, but she couldn't help it. She'd had just enough to drink to cause her to find the whole world amusing.

From her spot in the driver's seat, Bailey rolled her eyes and suppressed a sigh.

April seemed to pick up on the frustration and concentrated on stopping the giggles. She leaned her head against the window and smiled dreamily at the night sky. "Look, Dr. Bailey – isn't it a beautiful night? Look at all the stars. You know, back home in Ohio, I took the stars for granted. All that open land on the farm – you could see stars for miles. Here we never see them." She frowned. "All the rain. All the stupid clouds."

"Kepner." Bailey's voice was sharp and April sat straight up in her seat at the sound of it. "If you don't knock it off, I'm gonna knock you out, you got that?"

April nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good." Bailey shook her head. "You know, it just occurred to me – why am I driving your drunk butt home? The five other fools you live with were all at that ball field – why couldn't one of them have driven you home?"

April shook her head. "Well, Jackson and Lexie were obviously having a bad day and I so don't want to get in the middle of that. And," she continued, another giggle slipping out, "Meredith and Derek looked to be having a really good day, so I really didn't want to get in the middle of that."

Bailey nodded. "Fair enough. And Karev – what's your excuse there?"

April laughed for real at that question. "Come on, Dr. Bailey. You know what almost happened with him when I was sober. I don't want to know how stupid I might be around him drunk."

Bailey shook her head again. "Lord…" she muttered under her breath as, finally, she pulled into Meredith's driveway. "Don't hurt yourself getting in the house, okay?"

April giggled again. "'Kay. See you tomorrow!" she called behind her after slamming the car door shut.

Bailey winced. "Thankfully, not till the late afternoon," she muttered as she backed out of the driveway and headed for home.

April managed to make it inside with all limbs intact, where she found Jackson sprawled on the living room couch, none of the other inhabitants of the house anywhere in sight.

"Hey!" she said brightly, shoving his legs to the floor so she could sit down beside him. "What's the matter with you?"

Jackson looked mildly annoyed. "Nothing. Why do you say that?"

"Because I know you," April replied a touch smugly.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Whatever, you're drunk. Everything's fine."

April made a face at him. "Oh, so you're not bothered by the fact that Lexie couldn't keep her eyes off Mark and his new lady friend all day?"

Jackson pointedly ignored her and April looked thoughtful.

"Kind of like," she continued, "how Mark couldn't keep his eyes off her last fall?" She shook her head. "Wow. The two of them have like, epically bad timing, don't they?"

"April." Jackson said tiredly. "Stop talking. Please."

"Sorry," she said quietly. They sat in silence for a moment before April spoke again. "Okay, really, I'm sorry, but I just think it sucks. You're awesome and you're tying yourself up in knots over this girl who's still in love with someone else. Lexie's my friend and all, but she's clearly not over him."

Jackson sighed. "You think all this hasn't crossed my mind?"

April shook her head. "No, cause you're a smart guy. But even smart people delude themselves sometimes. I did it with Stark, convincing myself he was just a friendly colleague, right?"

Jackson laughed. "I see your point. So why haven't you said something before?"

"I wasn't drunk before. Seriously, it's the alcohol talking," April said. "It's why I don't drink so much very often. Too much of a control freak to let myself be uninhibited too often."

"It's not such a bad thing," Jackson said.

April shrugged. "Maybe." She turned so she was sitting sideways on the couch looking at him and smiled. "You're my best friend. I just want you to be happy."

Jackson grinned back at her. "Right back atcha, kiddo," he said, reaching over and pulling her into a one-armed hug.

April yawned as she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Funny, she'd never really thought about Jackson this way, but somehow – just for a minute – she could almost let herself imagine – what if he wasn't just her best friend?

Opening her eyes, she looked up to see him looking right back down at her, their eyes meeting. Was she seeing things? Was that same 'what if' glinting in his eyes too? Wait – was his face coming closer to hers?

It seemed like forever before their lips finally met in an incredible kiss. April was pretty sure she never wanted it to end, but eventually they broke apart, his voice softly saying her name…

"April. April."

Blinking, she sat up, looking confused. "Wha –"

"You totally passed out on my shoulder a few minutes ago," Jackson explained. "I'm just talking away and then I realize you're not listening at all, cause you were asleep. You better head up to bed."

April nodded, her mind whirling. 'Passed out – asleep? It was just a dream?' she thought to herself. 'But it felt so real…'

Blinking again, she realized he was looking at her with concern. "You okay? You need help getting upstairs?"

April shook her head, studying his face. If it wasn't a dream, he was giving nothing away. "No, no I'm fine," she assured him, standing up and heading for the stairs, glancing back at him as she went. "Good night," she said quietly.

"Night," he echoed as he watched her go and then headed to bed himself. It had been a long, long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I know it's been ages and this is dreadfully short, but I've felt compelled to add a little to this. Hopefully more coming soon-ish - we'll see. For now, thanks for reading!**

A week or so after the dream-kiss incident, April was almost done scrubbing out of surgery when a text message sounded from her phone. She quickly dried her hands and pulled the phone from her pocket to see that the message was from Jackson.

"_Meet me at Joe's?_"

April considered the question for a moment before sending back "_Just got done – give me 30 min and I'll see you there._"

"Hot date?" Callie asked as she reached for a towel and dried her hands.

April shook her head, glancing at her phone once more as Jackson's brief response of "_K_" flashed on the screen.

"Hardly," she replied, suppressing a sigh as she slipped her phone back in her pocket. "Just Jackson. Probably moping about Lexie some more."

The words slipped out before she really thought about what she was saying and April quickly shook her head, clapping a hand over her mouth before she said, "Sorry – I shouldn't have said that." She really had to work on being more careful. Ever since her – hallucination or dream or whatever it had been – she'd found it harder and harder not to think about Jackson in _that_ way and therefore harder and harder not be resentful of whatever was going on with him and his girlfriend.

Callie shrugged, unconcerned. "Hey. Hot best friend with Lexie Grey issues? Kinda been there before."

"Oh," April said slowly, not really sure how to respond to that. "Well. Yeah. I guess you have."

Callie frowned, looking thoughtful. "I wouldn't recommend the whole getting drunk and getting pregnant with his baby though," she advised, laughing self-deprecatingly. "I mean, it worked out for us in the end, but I think we're kind of a special case, ya know?"

April laughed nervously as she nodded. "Yeah. Don't get drunk, don't get pregnant. Good advice, thanks."

"No problem. Anyway, have a good night!" Callie said brightly before walking out of the scrub room.

"Yeah, right," April muttered and headed to the resident's lounge to change before walking across the street to Joe's.


	3. Chapter 3

Once inside the bar, April paused at the doorway to scan the room, looking for Jackson, and quickly spotted him at a table in a back corner. Since she was only on a break and had to head back to the hospital soon, she passed up getting a drink and headed straight to the back of the room, waving at Alex, Meredith & Cristina as she passed them at a table near the bar.

"Hey," she said, as she reached Jackson's table and slid into the chair opposite his.

"Hey," Jackson replied, sounding just a touch glum, and she frowned.

"You okay?" she queried and he shrugged, looking as if he was carrying on some sort of mental debate.

Finally he shook his head, as if shaking off whatever was bothering him, and said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I-" he cut himself off, like he wasn't sure what to say.

April studied him for a moment. Something definitely was up with him.

"Are you sure? 'Cause you sure seem upset about something to me and I'm figuring it's probably the whole ridiculous switching your schedule around thing, trying to avoid surgery with Mark and it's just stupid, 'cause it was an amazing procedure you could have worked on today and –"

April wasn't quite sure where exactly she was heading with this rant, but it didn't really matter since Jackson let out an almost imperceptible sigh and confessed.

"I broke up with Lexie."

April shut up.

"Oh," she finally said, feeling stupid because she couldn't think of anything more intelligent to say. And then, somewhere unable to stop herself, she launched into a barrage of questions. "You did? When? Are you okay? Is she okay?"

Jackson actually managed a laugh at her questions. "I knew talking to you would make me feel better," he mused before ticking off answers. "Yes, I did. A little while ago. And I don't know, to both of the last two questions. I mean, it sucks, but you were right. The writing's on the wall and has been for weeks."

April nodded. "Sorry," she said quietly. "Not really the kind of thing you want to be right about."

"Yeah, well," Jackson shrugged. "It'll be okay. I realized how much I was screwing up my career – and how much I'm really enjoying plastics. I honestly never thought I would like it as much as I do."

April nodded, looking thoughtful. "I know what you mean. I always thought I wanted to go into neuro – and then I realized how interesting trauma was – what an adrenaline rush it can be."

Jackson grinned. "I never thought it would be your thing, but I think you're one of those people who doesn't really want to step up and take the lead until you have to. But once you do, you're really good at it."

April blushed at the compliment. "Thanks." Then she sighed. "I still don't really know if it's where I'm meant to be though. I've been on several surgeries with Dr. Torres lately – and I'm kinda really intrigued by ortho too. And Dr. Torres has been nice to me." She laughed self-deprecatingly. "I think partly she feels sorry for me, but it's better than the indifference I get from some doctors."

Jackson just shook his head as she began to talk about the surgery she'd just been in, gesturing animatedly, her eyes lighting up. She was really pretty, especially when she was all worked up about something. Why hadn't he ever really noticed it before?

April cut herself off suddenly, looking at him quizzically. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Jackson blinked as she startled him out of his reverie. "I – uh – listen, April – there's something I need to tell you."

She looked at him expectantly as he took a deep breath and plunged forward, knowing he had to come clean. "There's another reason I broke up with Lexie."

April frowned, puzzled. "The Mark thing? Isn't that kinda part of the career thing?"

Jackson shook his head. "The, um – the 'you' thing,"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I kind of – well – I haven't been able to stop thinking about you this past week or so. Ever since I kissed you after the softball game." He watched her, waiting for the words to sink in.

"Wait. _What_?"

April's mind was whirling just a bit. Had he really just said what she thought he'd said? He opened his mouth, but she held her hand up, cutting him off before he could say anything.

"That was _real_?" she hissed. "It really happened? And you let me think it was a _dream_? That I was _asleep_?"

Jackson nodded, looking miserable. "I'm sorry – I don't even know what to say –"

"I cannot believe this," she muttered, almost to herself, before looking at him. "Are you freaking kidding me? How could you do that?"

He at least had the decency to look embarrassed, she noted.

"April – I'm sorry. I panicked. It just happened and it shouldn't have and I didn't want it to make things weird between us and –"

April laughed, a little bitterly. "Too late. Even though I thought it was a dream, it's been practically all I can think about. So it's already weird."

"Tell me about it," Jackson agreed. "It's kinda been all I can think about too."

"Oh, my God," April breathed, shaking her head. "This is insane."

Jackson nodded in agreement. "I know. And I know it was a really shitty thing for me to do. But maybe – we can – you know, see where it goes -"

April stared at him. "Are you _serious_?" she snapped incredulously. "_Seriously_?"

"I mean, I know it's not the greatest start, but –"

April snorted, cutting him off again. "Not the greatest? You kissed me and then you lied about it! When I was drunk enough to believe that I had passed out and _dreamed_ the whole thing! But hey, no biggie, let's go out!"

Jackson winced. Yeah, he realized, it was pretty bad when you summed it up that way. "I'm sorry, April. I don't know what else to say. I know it was stupid," he said quietly.

April closed her eyes for a second, as if trying to gather her patience. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she shook her head. "I've got to get back to the hospital. I can't sit here with you anymore right now anyway. Maybe we'll talk later," she added before standing up and walking out of the bar without a backward glance.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, somehow the show handed me a scene that played perfectly into this story. It kinda blew my mind. This chapter includes dialogue from the show - no copyright infringment intended. Hope you enjoy!**

_~later that evening/night – after the events of "Dark Was the Night" & during "Suddenly"~_

April Kepner was basically a nice person. A people pleaser. A pushover, even. 'Hate' was not an emotion she expressed often.

But right now, at this moment? It had not been a good night and April Kepner hated a lot of people.

She hated Henry for dying. (Not his fault, of course, but still.)

She hated Owen for telling her about Henry. And for making her essentially spy on Teddy.

She hated Teddy for being such a damn good surgeon that they couldn't tell her yet that her husband was dead.

She hated Cristina for resorting to making fun of her to keep Teddy distracted.

And she really hated Jackson for lying to her about something so important.

She groaned to herself as the gallery door opened and she turned to see the object of the bulk of her hatred enter the small space.

"How're they doing?" Jackson asked.

"Uh, still trying to repair the valve," April replied, glancing at him as he sat down beside her. "Well, and making fun of me," she admitted.

"What?" The tone of surprise mingled with a touch of concern in his voice was evident and April had to force herself not to analyze what it meant.

"Cristina doesn't want to talk about Henry's surgery and so instead she's making fun of me."

Jackson started to stand up as he said, "I'll turn the intercom off."

"No," April said, shaking her head as he sat back in his chair. "It's – I have to know everything that's going on. It's okay." She smiled ruefully, glancing briefly at him. "I can handle it."

Jackson looked a little dubious and it made her temper flare up again.

"Just like I can handle you using and humiliating me," she added before she could stop herself, hating the bitter sound of her voice.

Jackson winced at her words. "April – I –" he took a deep breath and then continued in a low voice, "I told you I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

April shook her head. "Never mind – don't say anything. I shouldn't have brought it up. This isn't the time or place to discuss it."

Jackson considered her words for a moment. "But we will discuss it eventually?" he finally asked.

April sighed, cracking a tiny smile in spite of herself. "God, yes, eventually we will discuss it. After I have had some time to stop being mad at you. And to wrap my head around the idea that you might not be delusional."

"Delusional?"

April glanced sideways at him. "Whether you really are actually attracted to me or you just think you are," she muttered grudgingly.

Jackson grinned. "Thought we weren't discussing it right now."

"We're not," April said firmly. "Not anymore anyway."

Jackson nodded, looking amused as he leaned back in his chair. He turned his attention back to the surgery below, his expression sobering as he watch Teddy and Cristina work.

April glanced sideways at him again, seeing the guilt in his eyes. She sighed. She might be pissed at him, but he was still her best friend.

"They've got it under control," she said quietly. "I really think she'll be okay."

He nodded again. "I know. It just sucks, you know? I mean, it's my stupid fault they had to get it under control in the first place." He made a face. "I hate screwing up."

"Trust me – I know," April replied. "Sometimes I think it would be really nice to have a job where screwing up meant just, like, typos in a memo. Or someone gets mayonnaise on their sandwich instead of mustard. Don't you think?"

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah, sometimes," he admitted. "But, I guess the good outweighs the bad."

They sat in silence again for a few moments before April finally said, "You'd probably better get out of here. Update the husband; see if they need your help in the ER."

Jackson nodded, but made no move to stand up. "I know I should, but I really kinda just want to sit here with you."

April wrinkled her nose. "That was hideously cheesy. If you want me to consider dating you, you're gonna have to do way better than that."

Jackson laughed. "It really had nothing to do with that, although I'm glad to see you considering the possibility. But seriously – if my choices are to go face an understandably pissed-off dude or chill here with you, which do you think I'd rather do?"

April flushed slightly, at a loss for words. "I –"

"You're right though," he said with a sigh. "Guess I should go."

April nodded as he stood up and headed for the door. "Hang in there," he said, nodding towards the window. "And don't let it get to you – you know it's not really about you."

"Thanks," April said. "I know. I'll see you later, okay?"

Jackson nodded and left the room. April shook her head and leaned forward, forcing herself to focus on what was happening in the OR and not on the man who had just walked out.


	5. Chapter 5

**This takes place after the end of episode 8-11, "This Magic Moment" and therefore about two weeks after the last chapter. Happy new episode day, ya'll! :)**

Jackson left the twins' room and headed for the resident's lounge, hoping he'd find April somewhere along the way. It had been a ridiculously long couple of weeks since he'd confessed the truth about their kiss and they'd had no time to talk. He'd spent nearly every waking moment either in rehearsal for the twins' surgery or in another actual surgery. April had been busy on Teddy's service and their paths just weren't crossing, except when other people were around.

He actually managed to find her on his way to the lounge – by deliberately walking past her office, where she was seated at her desk, working on some charts.

"Hey," he said as he entered the room, leaning on the edge of the desk.

"Hey," April replied distractedly, still scribbling away.

Jackson was still too jazzed from the successful surgery to notice her tone.

"Have you looked in at the twins?" he asked. "It's amazing – they're doing so well."

"Wha – no." April shook her head, still looking at the papers on the desk in front of her. "I'm not on their case at all. It's one thing to observe from the gallery, but I wouldn't want to intrude on the parents now," she said quickly, briefly glancing at him before turning her attention back to her paperwork.

Jackson shrugged. "There's so many doctors on their case, they'd never know. Seriously, they're adorable."

April shook her head again. "No – I – I just –"

She was trying to say that she just wanted to get done and go home but her voice caught and she couldn't get the words out. The catch in her voice was what finally broke through the haze of Jackson's post-surgery high.

"Hey – are you okay?" he asked quietly.

April took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm fine," she said shortly.

"Liar," Jackson countered as she finished signing the last chart and stood up to leave.

As she turned to move past him, he was able to really see her face for the first time since the conversation began – able to really look at her and see the complete exhaustion and sadness that was present.

It broke his heart. He always hated to see her upset, because, romantic feelings aside, she was his friend and she so often took things too much to heart. He'd always had an instinct toward protecting her from the – meanness of the world, for lack of a better term.

He'd never felt that more strongly.

April sighed. It had truly been a horrendous day and she really did just want to go home.

"I said I'm fine," she muttered, not really trusting her voice to not betray the truth. She turned away from him and headed across the office to get her coat from its hook.

"Yeah, and I said you're lying," Jackson replied, taking her elbow and pulling her back towards him. He'd seen the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

"Come on, April," he said, facing her, arms crossed over his chest. "I know you don't really want to talk to me right now, but there's obviously something wrong. What happened?"

April stared at her shoes for a few seconds before finally looking up and meeting his eyes.

The way he was looking at her actually made her stumble just the slightest bit. His eyes were so full of care and concern – _for her_, she couldn't help but marvel – and it was a little bit overwhelming. Suddenly, she was just too tired to be indignant, too tired to push him away.

Jackson's eyes widened in alarm as her face crumpled; tears spilling from her eyes as her whole body seemed to sag.

"Shit," he muttered, reaching out to catch her before she collapsed on the ground. He hadn't meant for her to have a complete meltdown- he just wanted her to not keep bottled up whatever was obviously bothering her.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jackson said soothingly, pulling her against him.

Gently, he managed to maneuver her over to the couch, pulling her down beside him as he sat down. He put his arm around her and she immediately curled into his side, quietly crying on his shoulder while he made soothing noises and rubbed circles on her back.

"Feel better?" he asked when she sat up a few minutes later.

April smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I kinda do," she admitted. It was true. Sitting there, nestled in the crook of his arm, she felt comforted.

Jackson chuckled. "Wanna talk about it?"

April closed her eyes, trying to figure out how to put it in words. "She got it," she finally said simply. "Dr. Altman," she added at Jackson's confused look. "I think – that it finally sank in, that Henry's dead. And I get it now too – why she was making Cristina repeat the story over and over. She wasn't trying to torture her. It was still _awful_," she said with a shudder, "but – she had to really – see it – to be able to accept it. I get it now." She looked rueful. "I should've gotten it sooner. I'm just – terrible at reading people, I guess. I didn't understand."

Jackson looked thoughtful. "Maybe you weren't meant to understand."

"Cristina understood," April replied. "I realize that now."

"Cristina and Teddy are a lot alike, I think," Jackson said with a shrug. "Your brain doesn't work the same way. It's okay."

April nodded, considering the statement. "Yeah, you're probably right." She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes again. "It's just – so sad. She never expected to feel that way about him, did she? Teddy, I mean. When she married him."

"Happens sometimes," Jackson said cautiously. "Feelings come out of nowhere, unexpectedly. They just happen."

April glanced up at him, rolling her eyes. "Smooth segue way," she said dryly.

"I didn't say anything," Jackson said in an innocent tone. "_You_ assumed I was talking about us."

April glared at him. "What 'us'?" she snapped, trying to deflect from the intensity of his gaze. She really had not meant to get into a conversation about this right now, not when her defenses were down and all she wanted to do was throw herself at him.

Jackson grinned, picking her right hand up with his left and lacing their fingers together. "The 'us' that already exists as best friends. And the 'us' that could be so much more."

April rolled her eyes again. "So cheesy," she complained. And yet – the way he was looking at her was so decidedly _not_ funny. Without her even realizing it, their faces had been moving closer and closer together.

Her hand felt good in his. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her close against him, felt even better. And so, April gave in and leaned forward and kissed him.


	6. Chapter 6

It was impulsive and maybe even stupid, but sometimes that's just how it had to be. And to be honest, kissing Jackson was kind of amazing. It just felt so natural and comfortable and – _right_.

April had just let herself relax into the kiss when Jackson abruptly pulled away.

"What?" she asked, sounding worried. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "This isn't right."

Too late, he realized the mistake in his phrasing. April moved herself away from him and slumped against the back of the couch with an exasperated sigh.

"Of course it's not," she replied sarcastically. "I guess I should have kissed you again a few weeks ago and then you'd have saved us both some time."

"That isn't what I meant. I didn't mean that _we're_ not right, I meant, right now is not the right time."

April glanced sideways at him, not responding, but not getting up and leaving either, which he took as a good sign.

"You're upset, you're tired – it's not right. I'd be taking advantage of your mental state and that's not fair."

April narrowed her eyes. "Oh, you mean like kissing me when I was drunk and then letting me think it was a figment of my imagination?"

Jackson scowled. "Yeah, that wasn't right either. I know. I'm sorry." He sighed. "I've told you - I don't know what else to say."

There was a long minute of silence while April stared at her hands, suddenly fascinated by her fingernails. She didn't really know what to say either.

Finally, she sighed. "It just sucks, you know? I mean, I get it – why you pretended it didn't happen. It would've been – weird and awkward and there was the whole Lexie factor. But it still sucks. It really – messed with my head, I guess. I'd never really thought of you that way before and all of sudden it was _all_ I could think about."

"Tell me about it," Jackson muttered in agreement. "Suddenly, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you again."

April looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

Jackson rolled his eyes affectionately. "I told you that. When I made my whole 'grand confession.'"

"Hunh. I do not remember that."

"Probably because you were too pissed at me to hear anything else I was saying," Jackson said matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Yeah, probably," April agreed. "Or was in shock."

"Besides," Jackson pointed out suddenly, "You could have said something. That night or whenever."

"Right," April said dryly. "Like I was going to bring it up and die of embarrassment when you were all 'what kiss? What are you talking about?'"

Jackson grinned. "See my point?"

"Whatever," April said, shaking her head before propping her elbow on the back of the couch and resting her head on her hand as she looked at him, not sure of what else to say.

They were quiet for a few moments before Jackson reached for her hand again. April couldn't deny the slight thrill she felt at his touch.

"So," he said slowly, trying to formulate his thoughts. "Do you think we can put all that behind us? Start fresh from right now?"

April nodded. "I think we can put it behind us – agree that we were both confused and embarrassed and move on. But – and I really, really hate to say this – I just don't know about dating."

Jackson hoped he was hiding his disappointment at her words by deflecting with gentle teasing. "You mean, because you haven't dated a lot?"

April made a face. "Ha ha. No, I mean I don't know about _us_ dating." She looked like she was struggling to gather her thoughts and Jackson waited patiently until she continued speaking. "I mean – there's the friendship factor. You are seriously my best friend and I really, really don't want to lose that. If things went wrong, I mean."

Jackson nodded. "I know. I get that. But – I would also think that we probably have better odds of making it as a couple, since we are already friends. We know we get along and have stuff to talk about and whatever – we'd just be adding a physical component."

"Yeah, and what if that goes badly and that's what wrecks things?"

Jackson couldn't help grinning. "Well, I already know I like kissing you," he said, sliding a little closer to her on the couch.

April laughed even as she swatted his arm. "Well, okay yeah, I like it too, but what about the rest of it?" She looked down at her lap as she mumbled, "You know…all the stuff I've never done."

"Hey," Jackson said softly. "I know we all gave you a hard time about the virginity thing, but it's okay. It's your life and your body, so who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?"

"I care what you think," April replied. "And what if – _if_ we were to ever do it - what if you think it's terrible?"

Jackson shook his head. "I think I could cut you some slack, knowing it was your first time," he said dryly, grinning as April blushed. "And if it was terrible, how would you know anyway?"

April laughed at that, lifting her head back up to meet his eyes. "True," she acknowledged. "Everything I've ever read says everyone's first time sucks anyway."

Jackson laughed. "Sometimes, I guess. Depends on the people involved, I'd think." He kept his eyes on hers as he added, in a tone he hoped was sincere yet suggestive and not cheesy, "If your first time was with me, I promise I'd do my best to make it not suck."

April nodded dumbly, her cheeks flushed even redder than before. "I – um –" she took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay. Is that your only concern?"

April shook her head. "Actually, no. There's also the – um, the Lexie concern."

Jackson looked confused. "We broke up. What's the concern?"

April took another deep breath. "Yeah, you _just_ broke up. After being interested in her for like forever before you finally dated her for months." She hated saying the next part, but she knew she had to put it out there. "You were her rebound guy. I don't want to be your rebound girl. I can't do it."

Jackson opened his mouth to reply and then shut it again, not sure how to respond to that. Much as he hated to admit it, she had a point.

"It goes back to the screwing up our friendship thing," April said, looking like she might cry again.

Jackson nodded. "I know. I understand that. But, April – isn't this what life's about? Risk versus reward? I know it – us dating - might be a risk – but don't you think the reward could be worth it? Life's too short to waste on 'what ifs'. No one knows that better than we do."

April nodded. "I know. Can I – can I think about this for a little bit?"

"What've you been doing for the last few weeks?" Jackson asked, attempting to lighten the somber mood.

April smiled. "Okay, can I think about it now that I've removed the being super pissed at you part of the equation?"

Jackson nodded. "Think all you want. I'll be waiting for you."


	7. Chapter 7

**It's not much and it doesn't do much for the plot but I feel terribly guilty at how I've neglected this story while I deal with my Samcedes obsession. (And also while I have a lot of personal & professional stuff going on that keeps me from writing much.) So at least here's a little bit of something. I promise there will be more eventually. I don't know when, but thanks for bearing with me!**

April had hoped to come home to a dark, quiet house where she could go straight to bed, but it was not to be. As she pulled her car into the driveway behind Jackson, she could see that the living room was fully lit up and as they came up on to the front porch, they could hear happy, excited chatter from inside.

"Oh my gosh!" April said, stopping short at the foot of the stairs as she looked into the living room and saw Zola standing unassisted between her parents. "Is she walking?"

Meredith and Derek were both beaming proudly as Derek answered, "She sure is – took the first step just a minute ago."

"That's awesome!" April said happily, her exhaustion momentarily forgotten.

"Way to go, Zola," Jackson said with a grin, as he walked into the living room and bent down to Zola's level. "Give me five?" he asked, holding his hand up.

Zola studied him for a minute before reaching out to brush her fingers against his palm.

"Awesome," Jackson said as Meredith and Derek laughed and April leaned against the doorway, smiling. She'd never been much of a baby person and she hadn't known Jackson to be either, but there was something magical about Zola Grey-Shepard. She had the ability to charm everyone she came in contact with and the rest of the residents she lived with were as smitten by her as her parents were.

Jackson stood back up and spotted the video camera lying on the chair. "Did you get it on film?" he asked.

Meredith shook her head. "No, Derek couldn't get the camera going in time," she laughed. "But it's okay."

"Bummer."

Meredith shrugged. "S'alright – now it's just something I can save and bring up the next time we fight about something stupid," she cracked, grinning at her husband, who rolled his eyes.

"Anyway," Derek said, ignoring his giggling wife and addressing Jackson, "The twins doing okay?"

Jackson nodded. "Yep, checked in one last time before I left. They're great."

Meredith glanced over at April, still standing quietly in the doorway. "Did you get to see them?"

She nodded. "Yeah – we walked out together. They really are sweet." April shifted her weight slightly, suddenly feeling exhausted again and trying to figure out how to escape upstairs without coming off as super rude. Thankfully, Meredith solved the problem for her.

"You okay? You're not nearly as perky as normal." From someone else, the words might have stung, but Meredith tempered them with a smile and her mother hen tendencies and April just shook her head.

"I'm okay. Just tired. Gonna head up to bed now, actually," she replied, turning towards the stairs. "Good night – great job, Zola!" she added with slightly forced cheerfulness.

"Good night," they all called after her, Jackson watching her with just a hint of concern in his eyes.

Meredith glanced over at him. "She really okay?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, just a long day. You know, the whole Yang/Altman thing."

Meredith nodded. "I heard a couple nurses talking about how she snapped and tried to get her to stop and Altman just shut her down."

"Yeah. It's been a tough few weeks," Jackson said before shaking his head. "Well, I'll leave you to your family moment and head to bed myself. Good night."


	8. Chapter 8

**Twice in one week - what? (Seriously, though, don't get used it - I never know when inspiration will strike or abandon me.) Excited to see what happens with tomorrow's ep and Sloan's 'matchmaking'! Also, this contains a few lines of dialogue from Episode 8-12, 'Hope for the Hopeless.' Enjoy and please let me know what you think!**

Change is always a little scary, whether it's welcomed or not. And when April was being fully honest with herself, she could admit that changing the nature of her relationship with Jackson was both something that could be welcome and also something that was completely terrifying.

So for the next week or so, she let the fear drive her decision-making – or rather, the lack thereof. She carried on a constant mental debate, but never made an actual decision about anything.

Until the morning she discovered that Alex's latest random skank had used up her deodorant. And it didn't matter she had already bought more, knowing that she was running low. It was the principle of the thing.

Because, really? Who does that? Take some toothpaste, use some dental floss, grab a tampon from the communal box under the sink – all fine and good. But using someone else's deodorant? Just gross.

And so without even thinking about it, April looked at Jackson after the others had left the kitchen and declared, "We need to move."

Jackson looked at her as he flipped the newspaper over. "Do we?"

April flopped down in the chair next to him. "Yes. We do."

"Also, I'm a little offended that you insinuated I brought that girl home," Jackson replied, ignoring her reiteration of the need to move.

April exhaled huffily. "Well, I didn't actually think you had, but Meredith doesn't know that I would know that for certain and Alex wasn't anywhere to be seen, so wouldn't the natural thing be for me to assume that you _might_ have brought her here?"

Jackson shrugged. "I guess."

April dismissed any further discussion with a hand wave. "Anyway – moving? Needs to happen. We need to find a place somewhere."

Jackson put the newspaper down and turned to face her. "Really? I asked you to think about dating and you counter with moving in together? Who's moving too fast now?" His tone was clearly a teasing one but April found herself blushing anyway.

"I don't mean move in _together_-together," she retorted before attempting to explain her though process. "I just – you know, this was great for awhile. It was exactly what we needed after – what happened –" she found that she still didn't like saying the word 'shooting' "- to be around people who understood what we were going through – but now – there's Zola – and Lexie – and it's just – it's time," she finished up lamely.

To her surprise, Jackson nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you're right. I know that. So, let's see what we can find."

April smiled happily and then wrinkled her nose. "You mean see what I can find. You know you're totally gonna delegate that to me."

Jackson grinned. "Damn right. Cause I know you'll find the perfect place – you're too OCD not to."

"Whatever," April scoffed in reply. "Organization is not a bad thing."

"Never said it was," Jackson replied lightly and reached for his newspaper again. Before he could pick it up though, April reached over, stopping him by covering his hand with hers.

"I –" she started to say and then faltered.

Jackson raised a questioning eyebrow, but stayed silent, waiting for her to collect her thoughts.

April took a deep breath. "I've been – doing a lot of thinking," she began.

"About?" Jackson prompted.

April rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, you know what about," she said, exasperated. "About us. And dating. And – let's give it a shot?"

Jackson caught the question in her voice and responded with one of his own. "You sure about that?"

April nodded, voice tinged with frustration when she replied, "Yes, I'm sure. I'm sorry, maybe it didn't sound that way but I'm just – I'm nervous about this okay? And –"

And that was where Jackson cut her off with a kiss, which also muffled the sound of surprise she made when his lips met hers.

"Okay," she said softly after they broke apart and Jackson grinned.

"Okay."

April giggled. "Is it weird that this feels kinda weird?"

Jackson laughed. "Nah, I get it."

"Okay, good," April said, sounding relieved. She stood up, gesturing at her bathrobe. "I better go up and get ready – but – can I ask a favor?"

"Shoot."

"Let's keep this between us for now, okay? I mean – with the looking to move out thing and the whole you just broke up with Lexie thing, I just – I think we should keep it quiet – don't you?"

Jackson considered her words for a moment and then nodded, just the slightest bit reluctantly. "Yeah – I get it. You're probably right."

April grinned. "Aren't I always?" she said over her shoulder as she headed for the stairs.

Jackson just shook his head and chuckled to himself as he watched her go

Late that afternoon, Jackson caught up to April in the residents' locker room.

"Still want to go check out those couple of places? I think we have time before we have to get home for the party."

"Oh, you mean the apartments where I'll be cooking and cleaning for you?" April asked sarcastically.

Jackson made a face. "Did you want me to tell Karev the real reason I'd rather live with you?"

April shook her head. "No, I know that was for his benefit but still."

"You do actually do most of the laundry and the grocery shopping and the cleaning at Meredith's place anyway," Jackson pointed out.

"Whatever," April muttered. "Let's go see these places."

They headed off to see the listings she'd found earlier that day and, as she'd expected, she fell in love with the three bedroom with hardwood floors. And when the landlord told them they had to decide right then, it only made her want that place more. She and Jackson held a hasty conference in the kitchen.

"What do you think?" he asked.

April frowned at the math she'd done earlier. "I think – it'll be tight, but we can swing it. Or – we could make things a little easier on ourselves and bring Alex along."

Jackson made a face. "Really? You want him to live with us?"

April made a face right back at him. "No, not really. He's gross. But he would help with rent and well – if the romantic thing were to not work out, it might be good to have a buffer."

Jackson ran a hand over his face and chose to ignore the second half of her reasoning. "But can we do it without him?"

April nodded. "Yeah – we'll have to be frugal on other stuff, but we should be okay."

Jackson sighed. "Fine, ask him. If he turns us down, at least we can say we made the offer."

April grinned and clapped her hands. "Yay! You are the best!"

She smiled up at him and any annoyance he'd felt over the Alex thing disappeared. All he could see was her happy face and shining eyes and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and pulling her against him and then lowering his head to kiss her.

April was pretty sure that every square inch of her skin was flushing bright red as their bodies pressed together. It was the most full-on physical contact they'd had so far and it was amazing. She didn't even realize that she was moving backwards until she bumped into the kitchen counter and it jerked her back to her senses.

"Jackson," she breathed, breaking the kiss.

His eyes closed, he rested his forehead against hers. "What?"he mumbled, breathing hard.

"The, um, the landlord?" April said weakly and Jackson nodded.

"Right. Yeah. Okay." Jackson took a step back and April hurriedly smoothed her shirt before going to tell the landlord that they'd take it.

Much, much later that evening, after the most awkward children's birthday party in history, Lexie, April, Jackson and Alex were in the living room, having volunteered to clean-up while Derek and Meredith got the birthday girl to bed.

In truth, Lexie and April were the ones with a trash bag, picking up abandoned paper plates and tissue paper. Jackson was sprawled on the couch while Alex was in the big armchair.

Lexie looked over at them and rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the help, guys," she muttered sarcastically.

April shook her head. "Guess I might as well get used to it."

Lexie looked over at her, confused. "Huh?"

April could have kicked herself. But now that she'd opened her mouth, she had to follow through and besides, the sooner they told Lexie, the better right?

"We," she began, waving her arm in the direction of the guys, "are, um – we're kinda moving out. Of Meredith's house. We put a deposit on an apartment earlier tonight."

Lexie looked surprised, to say the least. "Moving? Really?" She glanced at the guys. "Like, all three of you? Together?"

April nodded. "Yeah – we found a three-bedroom and I'm sorry we didn't ask you, but it's just you – it's not weird for you to live here still, I mean, you're family. You're Aunt Lexie!"

Lexie smiled at that. "I am, aren't I?"

"You're not mad?"

Lexie shrugged. "No, not really. A little, maybe. But not much. I mean, at least now I can move back down from the attic."

April laughed. "Exactly! Oh, I'm so glad you're okay. I was really worried."

"Of course you were – you're April and you worry about everything," Lexie said matter-of-factly. "So, tell me about the apartment. Where is it?"

"Not far from the hospital," April replied. "Gorgeous hardwood floors, a washer _and_ a dryer…" her voice trailed off as the two girls headed for the kitchen, carrying the glassware to put in the sink.

From his spot on the couch, Jackson glanced over at Alex. "Who knew all a girl needed to be so happy was hardwood floors and a washer and dryer?"

Alex shrugged. "Beats me, dude. Chicks. They're all crazy," he declared and left the room, heading upstairs.

Jackson laughed quietly, then hauled himself off the couch as he heard April say, "It's okay, Lex, I'll finish washing these. Go on to bed."

"Thanks," Lexie replied gratefully. "Good night. Night, Jackson," she added as she passed the living room doorway and went upstairs.

"Good night," he said before heading off to the kitchen. Until they got moved out, it was not going to be easy to get April alone and he was going to take advantage of any opportunity that presented itself!


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, everyone, I'm sad to say I think this is it for this one. With the long gaps between updates, I don't think it's any secret that this has been a bit of a struggle for me - I'm afraid of being repetitive and this being too similar to my previous April/Jackson story and I also don't think that plotted stories are my strong points. I've always felt that single scenes are my strength, so I think I'll be sticking to one-shots for a while - so please consider adding me to your author alert list. I appreciate so much every one of you who reviews, favorites and alert lists me and my stories - thank you so much! I hope you've enjoyed this story so far and will enjoy this last little bit. Please let me know!**

"Take one for the team, Kepner!"

April could hear Sloan's voice following her down the hall as she hurried away from him, unsure whether to laugh her head off or be completely offended by the man's attempt to hook her up with the guy she was actually already dating!

The absurdity of the situation struck her then and she couldn't help giggling. Poor Sloan. It's not like he knew, of course. Which was kind of a miracle – she and Jackson had been together for about a month now and somehow it was still a secret. Secrets never stayed secret at Seattle Grace Mercy West. And she was pretty sure Sloan was actually one of the worst gossips in the place. Maybe he had figured it out? Or maybe – Jackson had let it slip and Sloan was just giving her a hard time about it? Or maybe – even worse – maybe he had put Sloan up to it?

Her laughter died away as she contemplated these thoughts. She had reached her office by this point and opened the door to find Jackson sprawled on the couch, half asleep. She shut the door quietly and eyed him speculatively.

"Does Sloan know about us?" she demanded.

Jackson jumped, startled awake. "Does – what – huh?" He blinked as he sat up and focused on her. "Oh. Hey." He rubbed a hand over his face. "What did you ask?"

April crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the edge of her desk as she looked at him. "Does Sloan know about us? Have you told him?"

Jackson looked thoroughly confused. "No. Why would I tell him –" he cut himself off as he recalled his earlier conversations with Sloan that day and realization dawned. "Oh God. What did he say to you?"

April shrugged. "Not much. Just that instead of just being study buddies, we should be – well, the 'other kind of buddies' was the exact phrase he used."

Jackson groaned. "Seriously? What is wrong with that man?"

April bit her lip and looked away from him. "Is he though? Wrong, I mean?"

Jackson looked confused again. "What do you mean?"

April hesitated, trying to get her thoughts organized. "I mean – is he wrong? He said – you've been really – tense and – and stressed and I mean – I know, we haven't – yet and I'm sorry I'm not quite ready for that yet, but if it's that big a deal, then I guess – maybe –" her voice trailed off and she knew she was blushing furiously.

Jackson sighed heavily. "April," he said firmly, leaning forward to grab her hand and pull her towards the couch. "Don't be ridiculous. It's not that big a deal. If you're not ready, I'm sure as hell not going to force you. It's Sloan. He thinks sex is the answer to everything."

April pulled her legs up so she was sitting cross-legged on the couch, but didn't answer and Jackson sighed again.

"April. I promise. It's okay. Yes, I'm stressed and tense, but I swear it's about the boards." He frowned. "And my mother keeps threatening to come back out and visit again, which I seriously don't need. But mostly – I'm really freaked about the boards."

April finally looked up at him them, the relief obvious in her eyes. "You have nothing to worry about. We really have been studying."

Jackson snorted. "Yeah, in between making out."

"Study breaks are helpful," April replied primly and Jackson laughed.

"You're a trip," he said fondly as he leaned over to kiss her, one hand sliding up under the back of her scrub top.

"Mmm," she replied noncommittally before swatting at his arm and pushing him away. "Not in the hospital."

Jackson rolled his eyes, but complied, leaning back against the couch. "Why are we still a secret?"

"Because I want to hold the record for the longest someone's been able to keep a relationship quiet around here?" April replied flippantly, before shrugging and turning serious. "I don't know. It's just – everything around here turns into so much drama."

"It's not that bad," Jackson protested.

"Your attending is acting like he's your pimp or something," April retorted.

"He's Mark Sloan. Being a little sleazy comes as naturally to him as breathing."

"You can't blame him for being concerned about your love life," April said thoughtfully. "You did spend Valentine's with him. And your mutual ex-girlfriend."

Jackson made a face. "I needed his study help! Also, my girlfriend was working and told me not to hang out at the hospital with her," he said pointedly.

April made a face right back at him. "Because it would've given us away!" she explained, sounding a little indignant. Then her face softened as she realized what he'd said. "What did you just call me?"

"What?" Jackson sounded perplexed as he replayed the previous sentence in his head, April watching him and looking just a bit incredulous.

"You called me your girlfriend," April said softly.

"Well – yeah," Jackson shrugged. "I mean, you kinda are, right?"

April nodded. She was pretty sure the smile spreading across her face had the potential to crack it in two. "Well – um – yeah, I guess so."

He grinned at her and she couldn't help herself. Breaking her own 'hospital rule,' she leaned over and kissed him.

He chuckled softly as they broke apart. "Thought that wasn't allowed here."

"I make the rules, I can break them," she replied and he nodded.

"Noted."

April grinned. She knew they couldn't stay a secret forever, but for now she was happy with the way things were. Suddenly, she was really, really glad that Dr. Hunt had started the softball team that led to them drinking after the game and kicking this whole thing into gear. You just never knew where life might take you.


End file.
